The Flash and Thelma Memorial Hedgehog Rescue

King Waylon the First

First Hedgehog Monarch of North America

First Permanent Grand Champion of The International Hedgehog Association

Waylon

Portrait of HRM King Waylon the First by PJ Mattus, The Royal Artist

The Hedgehog Government of North America

The Hedgehog Government of North America developed as a sort of grassroots activity back in the Summer of 1998 with the arrival of Major General Spikers at the Flash and Thelma Rescue. Spikers had arrived from Dallas, Texas and although he was a friendly hedgehog with humans, he was not tolerant of other hedgehogs, especially an annoying escape artist named Bozeman. Someone remarked that Spikers acted like a "little grouchy Marine general" and the story began. Well, one cannot have a Marine general hanging around without something to command and so the Second Hedgehog Marine Division (Mechanized) was organized. The mission was to "combat animal abuse."

This sounded good to people taking care of hedgehogs, and so a lot of applications were received to join the hedgehog military. Since the 2d Marines were already staffed by hedgehogs here at the Flash and Thelma Rescue and a few other "locals," another hedgehog military unit was organized as a nationwide unit, which was named the 4th Hedgehog Armored Division, organized after the 4th Armored Division of World War II fame. Now you cannot have two combat divisions without a senior headquarters (later called hedgequarters) and so the III Hedgehog Corps was organized with its first commander being Lieutenant General Cactus Jack, a particularly crusty fellow delivered to Hedgequarters in Colorado by Donnasue Graesser from Connecticut.

After a while, it was brought up that there should be some sort of civilian leadership presence among all of this military activity. The search was on to find a suitable "Secretary of Defense." But search as we might, we could not come up with a hedgehog at that time with the necessary decorum and authoritative presence to take on the job. We finally did find such a hedgehog, but the problem was he lived in Canada, where they don't have secretaries of defense. Hence was created the first Minister of Defence (or Le Ministre du Defence), The Most Honourable Renfield of The House of Holmes in Toronto.

It didn't stop there. Shortly thereafter it became apparent the community needed a head of state. Since our senior authority figure was in Canada, they opted for a Monarch rather than a President. The system was set up so that the senior Permanent Grand Champion (in “time in grade” rather than physical age) of the International Hedgehog Association would be offered the position of Monarch. If that hedgehog declined the offer, it would pass to the next senior IHA Permanent Grand Champion until the Crown was accepted. It was not a position for all hedgehogs, since it involved public interaction, inspired leadership and authorship that increased over time.

The Monarch, among other responsibilities, appointed the Ministers, which evolved to five positions, as follows:

Ministrare Temporalis (The Minister of Time and Tradition), advisor to the Crown (a hedgehog version of a Prime Minister)

Le Ministre du Defence (The Minister of Defense)

The Minister of Health

The Minister of Justice

The Minister of Foreign Affairs

The first hedgehog Monarch was King Waylon I, who was also the first IHA Permanent Grand Champion. Waylon was a charming albino hedgehog who also happened to be the mischievous Bozeman's twin brother. Although both were very friendly, the similarities ended there.

The dilemma emerged as to who would assume the Monarchy if no IHA Permanent Grand Champions would accept the responsibility or if there were no living Permanent Grand Champions at the time (the status of Permanent Grand Champion being a difficult designation to acquire). So it was decided that the Crown would pass to the senior Minister upon the death, disability, or resignation of the reigning Monarch, a position to be held for 30 days in order to give a Permanent Grand Champion the opportunity to claim the Throne. If unclaimed after 30 days, the Crown would become permanent with the ministerial appointee. Over the years, there have been more Monarchs that have been appointed from the Ministries than from the ranks of the Permanent Grand Champions due to the relative rarity of Permanent Grand Champions. The Minister of Time and Tradition (Ministrare Temporalis), as Advisor to The Crown, regardless of seniority among ministers, normally does not ascend to The Crown unless there are no other ministers available or willing to assume the responsibility. There has only been one exception to this custom to date.

One of the roles of the Monarchy is the appointment of Ministers to fill vacancies. This is a serious responsibility because that minister may someday become the Monarch. The Crown also appoints Military General Officers, where Le Ministre du Defense promotes officers to field grade positions (majors and colonels) and Chief Warrant Officers. Military major commanders (Service, corps, divisions, and separate commands) appoint and promote company grade officers (lieutenants and captains) and Warrant Officers, as well as enlisted troops (privates to sergeants major) which consist of all loyal troops that are not hedgehogs (beavers, cats, dogs, humans, marmots, mice, muskrats, prairie dogs, etc.).

In pre-Monarchy days, North American hedgehog leadership was held by

Thelma of Niger, IHR 929 (Colorado)(Oct 1996 to July 1998) The Grand Dowager

The Monarchy has so far been led by:

1. King Waylon I (Colorado)(Ca. Sep 2000 to Mar 2001)(6 months)(PGC)

2. King Renfield I (Ontario)(Mar 2001 to April, 2001)(16 days)(Note: HRH King Renfield was best known as the original Ministre du Defence, a post in which he served in 2000 and 2001)(Ministerial).

3. Queen Cleo I (Ontario)(April, 2001 to June, 2002)(14 months)(Ministerial)

4. King Pyewacket I (Ontario)(June, 2002 to June, 2004)(two years)(Ministerial)

5. Queen Stella (Ontario)(June, 2004 to Dec 2004)(6 months)(Ministerial)

6. King Quilliam I (Ontario)(Dec 2004 to April 2005)(4 months)(PGC)

7. Queen Little Pokie I (Colorado)(Dec 2005 to Jan 2006)(1 month) (Ministerial)

8. King Boris I (Iowa)(Jan 2006 to Dec 2006)(11 months)(PGC)

9. King Reggie the Ancient (Colorado)(Dec 2006 to Dec 2006)(4 days)(Note: King Reggie was the oldest hedgehog to ever wear the Crown, at eight years and two months of age!)(Ministerial).

10. King Mr. Tiggywinkle I (Colorado)(Dec 2006 to April 2007)(4 months)(Ministerial)

11. King Walter The Wise (Colorado)(April 2007 to May 2008)(13 months)(Ministerial)

12. Queen Sable The Serene (Colorado)(May 2008 to December, 2009)(19 months)(Ministerial)

13. King Orbit the Spy (Colorado)(December 2009 to July 2010)(8 months)(Ministerial)

14. Queen Louella of Lafayette (Colorado)(July 2010 to October 2011)(15 months)(Ministerial and PGC)

15. King Gromit of Arlington (Illinois)(October 2011 to present)

The duties of the Monarch are essentially as follows, plus anything else the Monarch wishes to take on.

1. Review each issue of the IHA News in draft and write a relevant editorial for the issue ("The Royal Quill"), consisting of around 500 words of sage and wise evaluation and advice. IHA members have IHA News issues from the past and so have examples from both Queen Louella of Layayette, King Orbit the Spy, Queen Sable the Serene, King Walter the Wise, and others.

2. Attend and preside over the annual major North American hedgehog show (Milwaukee in even years and Colorado in odd years).

3. Appoint new ministers when vacancies occur, which may be done by personal knowledge or upon recommendations. The ministerial positions are Time and Tradition, Justice, Health, Foreign Affairs, and Le Ministre du Defense.

4. Commission and promote hedgehogs in the hedgehog military either by personal knowledge or upon recommendation of Le Ministre du Defense.

5. Make pronouncements at or for major events.

6. Author Royal obituary notices for prominent hedgehogs.

7. Maintain the Queen's/King's Regulations for deportment in various venues.

When a Monarch passes on or resigns from the Throne, the Crown temporarily passes to the senior Minister for immediate governance. The Crown becomes permanent for that Minister if no claim is made for the Monarchy for 30 days by an IHA Permanent Grand Champion (PGC). If multiple PGC claims are made during that period, the Crown goes to the PGC which has held the title the longest. Presently, there are three living PGC's, in order of seniority, Gromit, Speedy, and Brozia. As the PGC is a designation of the International Hedgehog Association, those ascending to the Throne must have a current good standing membership in the IHA.