The Flash and Thelma Memorial Hedgehog Rescue

 

Major General Spikers

Royal Hedgehog Marine Corps, Retired

Original Commanding General of the Second Hedgehog Marine Division (Mechanized)

THIS IS THE NORTH AMERICAN HEDGEHOG MILITARY PAGE

Contents

I.  CHAIN of COMMAND

II.  MAJOR UNIT SUMMARY

III.  UNIT DETAIL (The present North American Hedgehog Military units)

IV.  NORAMCONHEDGECOM RETIRED RESERVE and ROYAL ORDER of MERIT RECIPIENTS

V.  HISTORICAL ORDERS, MEMORANDUMS, and INTERVIEWS

 

 

 

I

 

HEDGEHOG MILITARY ORGANIZATION and CHAIN OF COMMAND

HEDGEHOG GOVERNMENT of NORTH AMERICA

COMMANDER in CHIEF

His Royal Majesty King Gromit of Arlington, IHR 90745, XV Hedgehog Monarch of North America

LE MINISTRE du DEFENSE

The Right Honourable Winky Akwekon, IHR 19861, Le Ministre du Defense

NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENTAL HEDGEHOG COMMAND (NORAMCONHEDGECOM)

General Astrid Hermoine of Northglenn, RHA, IHR 17196, Commanding General

 

II

 

MAJOR UNIT SUMMARY

III HEDGEHOG CORPS

Lieutenant General G.G. of Windsor, RHMC, IHR 18313, Commanding General

2d HEDGEHOG MARINE DIVISION (MECHANIZED)(SPIKERSíS OWN)

Major General Minna of Arvada, RHMC, IHR 27016, Commanding General

4th HEDGEHOG ARMORED DIVISION

Major General HRH The Prince Speedy Becker, RHA, IHR 31706, Commanding General

173rd HEDGEHOG AIRBORNE BRIGADE

Brigadier General HRH The Princess Brozia, RHMC, IHR 17438, Commanding General

1st ROYAL TENREC COMMANDO SQUADRON

 

 

 

HEDGEHOG TRAINING and MATERIEL TESTING COMMAND

(MILPOGTMATCOM)

Major General Astrix of Cheyenne, RHA, IHR 18317, Commanding General

NORAMCONHEDGECOM RETIRED RESERVE

 

XX HEDGEHOG CORPS (The Ghost Corps)

 

III

 

UNIT DETAIL

 

HEDGEQUARTERS

NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENTAL HEDGEHOG COMMAND

(NORAMCONHEDGECOM)

Unknown (Secret) Location, Probably Underground

 Commanding General

                Deputy Commander, Training and Doctrine

                Deputy Commander, Readiness and Maneuver

                Deputy Commander, Support

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HEDGEQUARTERS

HEDGEHOG TRAINING and MATERIEL TESTING COMMAND (MILPOGTMATCOM)

 North American Hedgehog Military Training Brigade

North American Hedgehog Ground Tactical School

 North American Hedgehog Airborne Training School

 North American Hedgehog Military Materiel Testing Brigade

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HEDGEQUARTERS

III HEDGEHOG CORPS

 

Commanding General       

Chief of Staff

 

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-1 (Administration)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-2 (Intelligence)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-3 (Operations)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-4 (Logistics)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-5 (Civil Affairs)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-6 (Management Information Systems)

Special Staff

Surgeon

Staff Judge Advocate

Public Affairs Office

 

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HEDGEQUARTERS

4TH HEDGEHOG ARMORED DIVISION

 

ORDER OF BATTLE

 

HEDGEQUARTERS (At CCA)

 

 Commanding General

 

Chief of Staff

 

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-1 (Administration)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-2 (Intelligence)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-3 (Operations)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-4 (Logistics)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-5 (Civil Affairs)

 

Special staff:

Chaplain

Division Surgeon

Provost Marshal

Staff Judge Advocate

 

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COMBAT COMMAND A (SOUTH)

 

8th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

Hq and Hq Company, 8th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

Company A, 8th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

Company B, 8th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

Company C, 8th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

 

10th Hedgehog Armored Infantry Battalion

Company A, 10th HH Armored Infantry Bn

Company B, 10th HH Armored Infantry Bn

Company C, 10th HH Armored Infantry Bn

               

Company A, 24th Hedgehog Armored Engineer Battalion

 

22d Hedgehog Armored Field Artillery Battalion

Battery A, 22d HH Armored Field Artillery Bn

 

Troop A, 25th Hedgehog Cavalry Reconnaissance Squadron (Mechanized)

 

Company A, 126th Hedgehog Armored Ordinance Maintenance Battalion

 

46th Hedgehog Armored Medical Battalion

HHC 46th Hedgehog Armored Medical Battalion

Company A, 46th Hedgehog Armored Medical Battalion

               

CCA, HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Company

 

144th Hedgehog Armored Signal Company

 

First Platoon, 144th Hedgehog Armored Signal Company

 

Rear Echelon, 4th Hedgehog Armored Division HEDGEQUARTERS

 

1st Platoon, 4th Hedgehog Armored Division Military Police Company

 

1st Platoon, 444th Hedgehog Quartermaster Truck Company

 

Company A, 704th Hedgehog Tank Destroyer Battalion

 

Company A, 489th Hedgehog Anti-Aircraft Artillery Battalion (Tampa, Florida)

 

 

COMBAT COMMAND B (NORTH)

 

35th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

     Company A, 35th Hedgehog Tank Battalion (Defending His Majesty The King in Naperville, Illinois)

     Company B, 35th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

     Company C, 35th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

               

51st Hedgehog Armored Infantry Battalion

Company A, 51st HH Armored Infantry Battalion

Company B, 51st HH Armored Infantry Battalion

Company C, 51st HH Armored Infantry Battalion

Company B, 24th Hedgehog Armored Engineer Battalion

 

66th Hedgehog Armored Field Artillery Battalion

Battery A, 66th Hedgehog Armored Field Artillery Battalion

 

HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Battery, Division Artillery

 

25th Hedgehog Cavalry Reconnaissance Squadron (Mechanized)

 

HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Troop, 25th HH Cav. Recon. Sqdn.  (Mech.)

Troop B, 25th HH Cavalry Reconnaissance Squadron (Mech.)

 

Company B, 126th Hedgehog Armored Ordinance Maintenance Battalion

 

Company B, 46th Hedgehog Armored Medical Battalion

 

CCB, HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Company

 

Second Platoon, 144th Hedgehog Armored Signal Company

 

Forward Echelon, 4th Hedgehog Armored Division HEDGEQUARTERS

 

2d Platoon, 4th Hedgehog Armored Division Military Police Company

 

2d Platoon, Company B, 489th Hedgehog Anti-Aircraft Artillery Battalion

 

 

COMBAT COMMAND C (WEST) and R (RESERVE)

 

 

37th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

     Company A,  37th Hedgehog Tank Battalion

 

53d Hedgehog Armored Infantry Battalion

     Company A, 53d Hedgehog Armored Infantry Battalion

     Company B, 53d Hedgehog Armored Infantry Battalion (Victoria, TX)

 

24th Hedgehog Armored Engineer Battalion

 

Hq and Hq Company, 24th Armored Engineer Bn

Company C, 24th Hedgehog Armored Engineer Battalion

 

94th Hedgehog Armored Field Artillery Battalion

 

HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Battery, 94th HH Armored FA Bn

Battery A, 94th HH FA Bn

Battery B, 94th HH FA Bn

Battery C, 94th HH FA Bn

Battery D, 94th HH FA Bn

               

704th Hedgehog Tank Destroyer Battalion

HHC and Company B, 704th Hedgehog Tank Destroyer Battalion

 

Troop C, 25th Hedgehog Cavalry Reconnaissance Squadron (Mechanized)

 

HHC and Company C, 126th Hedgehog Armored Ordinance Maintenance Battalion

 

Company C, 46th Hedgehog Armored Medical Battalion

 

CCC, HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Company

 

Third Platoon, 144th Hedgehog Armored Signal Company

 

Trains HEDGEQUARTERS and HEDGEQUARTERS Company

 

Division HEDGEQUARTERS Company

 

3d Platoon, 4th Hedgehog Armored Division Military Police Company

 

3d Platoon, 444th Hedgehog Quartermaster Truck Company

 

Company C, 704th Hedgehog Tank Destroyer Battalion

 

HHC and Company C, 489th Hedgehog Anti-Aircraft Artillery Battalion

 

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HEDGEQUARTERS

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE DIVISION (MECHANIZED)(SPIKERíS OWN)

 

ORDER OF BATTLE

 

HEDGEQUARTERS (Divide, Colorado)

 

Chief of Staff

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-1 (Administration)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-2 (Intelligence)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-3 (Operations)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-4 (Logistics)

Assistant Chief of Staff, G-5 (Civil Affairs)

Special staff:

Chaplain

Surgeon

Provost Marshal

Staff Judge Advocate

 

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE REGIMENT (INFANTRY)(PRAIRIE DOG)

Company A, 2d HHMR (INF)

Company B, 2d HHMR (INF)

 

6TH HEDGEHOG MARINE REGIMENT (INFANTRY)(MUSKRAT)

 

8TH HEDGEHOG MARINE REGIMENT (INFANTRY)(FIELD MOUSE)

Company A, 8th HHMR (INF)

 

10TH HEDGEHOG MARINE REGIMENT (ARTILLERY)(MARMOT)

Battery A, 10th HH Marine Regiment (Artillery)

Battery B, 10th HH Marine Regiment (Artillery)

 

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE TANK BATTALION

 

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE RECONNAISSANCE BATTALION

 

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE COMBAT ENGINEER BATTALION

 

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE ASSAULT AMPHIBIOUS BATTALION

 

Special Weapons Officer

(Note:  The officers of the 2d HHAAB were among the most notable in North American hedgehog  society - Waylon I, Critical Bill, and Abednego)

Company A, 2d HHAAB

 

2D HEDGEHOG MARINE LIGHT ARMORED RECONNAISSANCE BATTALION

 

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173d HEDGEHOG AIRBORNE BRIGADE

 

                Commander

Deputy Commander

                S-1 Administration

                S-2 Intelligence

                S-3 Operations

                S-4 Logistics (030303)

 

                Hq and Hq Company

 

1st Bn, 508th Hedgehog Airborne Infantry

                Commanding

                Executive Officer

 

2d Bn, 503d Hedgehog Airborne Infantry

                Commanding

                Executive Officer

 

501st Field Support Company

 

173d Combat Support Company

 

173d Brigade Reconnaissance Company

 

Delta Battery, 3d Battalion, 319th Field Hedgehog Airborne Artillery

 

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Roster of Colonels

 

Colonel Illini of JBG Ranch, INFANTRY, RHA, IHR 19300, Chief of Staff, III HH Corps, age 3 yrs 4 months

 

Colonel Doughnut of Lakewood, RHMC, IHR 27019, Chief of Staff, 2d HH Marine Division, age 3 yrs and 4 months

 

Colonel Lychee Nut of Sir Snuffys, MILITARY INTELLIGENCE, RHA,  IHR 27052, Asst Chief of Staff, G-2, III HH Corps, age 3 yrs and 3 months

 

Colonel Houdini of Fort Collins, ARTILLERY, RHA, IHR 27053, Commander, Materiel Testing Brigade, MILPOGTMATCOM, age 3 yrs.

 

Colonel Champion of Heaven Sent, ARMOR, RHA, IHR 19274, Assistant Division Commander, 4th HH Armd Division, age 3 yrs and 7 months.

 

Colonel Fluffy of Golden, RHMC, IHR 27023, Deputy Commander, 2d HH Marine Division (Mech)(Spikers's Own) age 3 yrs and 6 months

 

 

_____________________________________________________

 

NORAMCONHEDGECOM RETIRED RESERVE

 

 

XX HEDGEHOG CORPS (THE GHOST CORPS)

 

Hedgehog Military and Honourary Military Member Recipients of The Monarchís Royal Order of Merit

 

Spikers Akwekon, Major General, UHMC, 1248, First Commanding General, 2d HH Marine Div (Mech) from 8/98 to 11/00

Cactus Jack Akwekon, Lieutenant General, USA, 3185 (103098 - 122602)(CG, III HH Corps from 09/00 to 10/02)

Nigel Akwekon, Major General, USA, 7509 (031598 - 110902)(DCG, NORAMHEDGECOM)

Warren Akwekon, Major General, UHMC, 4836 (011597 - )

Hedgeley Akwekon, Colonel, GS, 4488 (121599 - 111502)

Mbiza Akwekon, Lt. Colonel, Armor, 4541 (111599 - 101602)

Bonnie, Jr., Colonel, Armor, 7505 (021598 - 111502), G-3, HQ, 4th HH Armd Div

Truman Akwekon, Major, UHMC, 7511 (041500 - 112302)

Bino of High Country, Colonel, UHMC, 3995, Acting Cmdr, Division Artillery and Cmdr, 10th Marine Regiment (Artillery) (041599 - 122802), 2d HH Marine division (Mech)(Spikerís Own)

Matilda Topaz, Major, Infantry,  (011101- 010703), Commandant, North American Hedgehog Airborne Training School, MILPOGTMATCOM

Waylonne, Colonel, GS (Infantry), 6449 (121596), ACofS, G-4, III HH Corps

Ukuqambe Akwekon, Colonel, Armor, 3451 (121598) CofS, 4th HH Armd Div

Grouchy Akwekon, Major General, UHMC, 4278, Commanding General  (051598)

Aleister of Superpogs, Major, UHMC, 7515. Assistant Chief of Staff, G-1 (Administration) (041501) 2d HH Marine Div (Mech)(Spikerís Own)

Gracie Akwekon, Lt. Colonel, Infantry, 7512, Commanding  (041498)

Lolita Rose Akwekon, Colonel, GS, 4539 (100195) CofS, III HH Corps

Buddha of The Happy hedgehog, Major, UHMC, 5137, Commanding (111500), 2d HH Tank Bn 2 MARDIV

Mnene Akwekon, Captain, UHMC, 4830, G-3 Operations (011401), 2d HH Tank Bn 2d MARDIV

Scruff Akwekon, Lieutenant General, USA, 7517, Commanding (111098) III HH Corps

Tadeusz Drozdowski, Major, MI, 11457 (011501), G2, III HH Corps

Hermine Akwekon, Lt. Col., AGC, 4487, Adjutant General (121599), 4 HH Armd Div

HalfandHalf, Lt. Col., Armor, 7508 (031500), G4, 4th HH Armd Div

Sonnet Akwekon, Lt. Col., Armor, 7507, Commanding (031599), CO, 51st HH Armd Inf Bn

Xena Akwekon, Colonel, UHMC, 3736, Commanding (111597), 8 Rgt 2 MARDIV

The Most Honorable Twinkle Toes Morrison, Minister of Justice (Senior minister)

The Right honorable Abednego Akwekon, Minister of Health, 4834 (040900)

Vunulisa Akwekon, Captain, UHMC, 4831, G-3 operations (011401)

Lucee, Lt. Col., Armor, 11024, S-3, Operations (101700), CCA, 4th Armd

Princess Miranda Pearl, Captain, Armor, 11032, S-4, Logistics (011101), CCA, 4th Armd

Lady Olivia Garnet, Captain, Corps of Engrs, 11021, Commanding (060601), CO, Co A, 24th HH Armd Engr Bn, CCA, 4th Armd

Thistle Too, Brigadier General, USA, Assistant Division Commander (At CCB), 4 HH Armd Div

Maya, Colonel, Armor, Commanding, CCB (NORTH), 4th HH Armd Div

Miracle, Major, Armor, S-3, Operations, CCB (NORTH), 4 HH Armd Div

Sparkle, Captain, Armor, Commanding, Co B, 51 HH Armd Inf Bn, CCB, 4 HH Armd Div

Teazel, 1st Lt., Infantry, Executive Officer, Co B, 51 HH Armd Inf Bn, CCB, 4 HH Armd Div

Tessa, Cadet, pending commission, Co C, 51 HH Armd Inf Bn, CCB, 4 HH Armd Div

Phaedra, Cadet, pending commission, Co C, 51 HH Armd Inf Bn, CCB, 4 HH Armd Div

SaseNdiya, Major, Armor, Commanding, 25 HH Armd Cav Recon Sqdn (Mech), CCB, 4 HH Armd Div

Shesa, Captain, Armor, Commanding, Hq and Hq Trp, 25 HH Armd Cav Recon Sqdn (Mech), CCB, 4 HH Armd Div

JBG Dutchess Noodles, Brigadier General, UHA, 11031, Deputy Commanding General (052599), 4 HH Armd Div

Prickles, GySgt, Special Weapons Sergeant and Acting First Sergeant, Co A, 2d HHAAB, 2d HH MarDiv

Mackenzie Grizzle Spikers Akwekon, Colonel, UHMC, 4835, Commanding (031500) 2d HH Mar Regt (INF)(PRAIRIE DOG)

                Winfield Akwekon, Major General, UHMC, 4839, CG (021599), Commanding General, 2d HH MarDiv

                Styx of High Country, Brigadier General., UHA, 3996 (041599), Commanding General, Hedgehog Training and Materiel Testing Command (MILPOGTMATCOM)

                Chester  Akwekon, Major General, UHA, 4837, Commanding (071598), 4th HH Armored Division

                Sweetie Akwekon, Colonel, UHMC, 3130 (071598), Chief of Staff, 4th HH Armored Division

                Ben of Pins and Needles, Major, UHMC, 11824, Commanding (102301), Commander, 2d HH Combat Engineer Bn, 2d HH Marine Division (Mech)

                Pike Akwekon, Colonel, UHMC, 7504, (051500), III HH Corps

                Little Silverbelle Akwekon, Lt. Colonel, CE, 4542, Commanding (090600), CDR, Testing Bde, MILPOGTMATCOM

Lady Nadia of Club J Ranch, The Grand Dowager, 2003-2004.

HRH King Pyewacket I,  2xxx - 2004

                Angel of High Country, Major General, UHA, 3156, Deputy Commanding General (032999), III HH Corps

                Killian Akwekon, Major General, UHMC, 11118, Commanding (101599), 4th HH Armored Division, 2xxx - 2004.

                Tulip of High Country, Colonel, Armor, 11090 (041200) ACofS G4, 4th HH Armd Div

                Reggie, Jr., Akwekon, Major, Armor, 11502 (061501), S-3, CCC (WEST), 4th HH Armd Div

                Alberta Akwekon, Lt. Colonel, Armor, 6451, Commanding (071500)

Company A, 2d HHLAR Bn. 2d HH MarDiv

                Manitoba Akwekon, Lt. Colonel, Armor, 6452, Commanding (041500), CO, 53d HH Armd Inf Bn, 4th HH Armd Div

                Sunny of Superpogs, Colonel, UHMC, 2176, Chief of Staff  (042899)(trf fr 6th MarRegt 4/11/04), 2d HH MarDiv

                The Wingman Akwekon, Major, UHMC, 4833, Assistant Chief of Staff, G-2 (Intelligence) (012601), HQ, 2d HH MarDiv

                Bozenut Akwekon, Major, UHMC, 4832, Executive Officer and Acting Commander (011401), 2d HH Aslt Amphib Bn, 2d HH Mar Div

                Sledge Akwekon, Colonel, QMC, 7514, Commanding (041500), 173d HH Airborne Bde

                Stuart Little, Lt. Colonel, Armor, 11193, Executive Officer (060100), CCA

                Holly Rose, Major, Armor, 11028, S-1, Administration (050101), CCA

                Scamp The Tank, Major General, UHA, 5070, Deputy Commander and Commander, Division Artillery (060599)(at CCB), later CG, 4 Armd Div

                Chester, Jr. Akwekon, Colonel, GS, 7518,  (011599), G-1, III HH Corps

                Katari of Club J Ranch, Major, UHMC, 11785, Assistant Chief of Staff, G-1 (Administration) (020102) 2 HH Mar Div

                Harreigh Akwekon, Lt. Colonel, UHMC, 7503, Commanding (060501) 2d HH Marine Regt, 2d HH Mar Div

 

General Fudgie of Fort Collins, UHA, IHR 18319, Commanding General, NORAMCONHEDGECOM (5/14/2011 to 2/25/2012)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HEDGEDQUARTERS
SECOND HEDGEHOG MARINE DIVISION (MECHANIZED)

GENERAL ORDER 61-1
6 March, 35100061
TO:  See Distribution
SUBJECT:  Assumption of Command

The undersigned assumes command.

WONDER AKWEKON
Major General, UHMC
Commanding

DISTRIBUTION:  Command Personnel
 
 

HEDGEDQUARTERS
SECOND HEDGEHOG MARINE DIVISION (MECHANIZED)

GENERAL ORDER 61-2
6 March, 35100061
TO:  See Distribution
SUBJECT:  Division Mission

The following is the mission of the 2d Hedgehog Marine Division (Mechanized)(2dHHMD(Mech)):  The mission of the 2dHHMD(Mech) is to combat animal abuse and neglect wherever it is found by bringing to bear the tactics and weapons needed to end these practices.  Our weapons include such fearsome arsenal items as the 155mm USDA inspection, the state or provincial inspection, Internet list alerts, patron complaints, media involvement, local official complaints, physical search and rescue, and educational programs.  Although our primary mission is to serve hedgehogs, we shall join in to combat all forms of animal abuse and neglect (including human animals, of course).  Our strategic plan is one of escalated scales beginning in a friendly way with diplomacy and education and then, if not victorious, with increasing pressure (complaints, media, regulatory agencies, etc.) until the abusive or neglectful situation is remedied.

WONDER AKWEKON
Major General, UHMC, Commanding

 

 

MAJOR GENERAL SPIKERS'S ORIGINAL STATUS OF THE DIVISION MEMORANDUM PRIOR TO THE GREAT INSECT WAR OF 35100055 (human year 1999):

 

Major General Spikers

Major General Spikers

HEDGEQUARTERS
2d HEDGEHOG MARINE DIVISION (MECHANIZED)
SPECIAL ORDERS 2-08-20-00
FROM:  Commanding General
TO:  See Distribution
SUBJECT:  Status of Second Hedgehog Marine Division (Mechanized)
1.  Various command and list personnel have asked about the status of the 2d Hedgehog Marine Division (Mechanized)(2dHHMD(Mech)).  These Special Orders represent an annual report for Human calendar year 1999 and Hedgehog calendar year 35100055 (we don’t play around with dates). 
The last update occurred on October 19, 1999 (35100055).  Future updates will occur annually in January or as major personnel or operational changes occur.
2.  This update shall only be posted to the Pigpoglives List, the Division web page, division personnel, and to individuals as requested.
3.  The 2dHHMD(Mech) is a reserve multi-service versatile division capable of military action in several combat environments.  It serves at the pleasure of the Pogmander-in-Chief and may be mobilized to action by Le Ministre du Defense, The Honourable Renfield (hedgehogs do not recognize foolish human international borders). 
4.  Over the past year, the 2d HHMD(Mech) has undergone several personnel changes.  The present organizational structure is as follows:

  • a.  Commanding general:  Spikers, Major General, USMC
  • b.  Deputy Commanding General:  Brigadier General Wumpling, UHA
  • c.  Staff:
            1.  Chief of Staff:  Colonel Little Flash, UHA
            2.  Asst Chief of Staff, G1 (Administration), Colonel Melanie (Canadian Armed Forces).
                (a) Staff Judge Advocate:  Lt. Colonel Miwacle, UHA, JAGC
                (b) Provost Marshal:  Major Vula indlela, UHA, MPC
                (c) Div. Surgeon:  Colonel Roscoe, Canadian Armed Forces, MC
            3.  Asst Chief of Staff G2 (Intelligence), Major Bozeman (Canadian Armed Forces).
                (a)  Radar Officer:  Major Sonicker (Australian Armed Forces)
            4.  Asst Chief of Staff G3 (Operations), Colonel Silverbelle (Canadian Armed Forces)
                (a)  Wheeling Officer:  Lt. Colonel Angel, UHMC
                (b)  Air Liaison Officer:  Major Izigqi, Canadian Armed Forces
            5.  Asst Chief of Staff G4 (Logistics), Colonel Rosie, UHA
                (a)  Procurement Officer:  Major Sweetie, Canadian Armed Forces
            6.  Asst Chief of Staff G5 (Civil Affairs), vacant (see APPENDIX A)
  • d.  Combat brigades:
            1.  Commander, 1st Brigade:  Colonel Grumpy, UHMC.
            2.  Commander, 2d Brigade:  Colonel Louise, UHA
  • e.  Division Artillery (Heavy)
            Brigadier General Wumpling, UHA
  • f.  Special Units:
            1.  Commando/Rangers:
                Commander:  Captain Waylon, UHMC
                Deputy:  Chief Warrant Officer, W2, Critical Bill, UHA 

    FOR THE COMMANDER:

                    LITTLE FLASH
                    Colonel, GS, UHA
                    Chief of Staff

(Signed)
POKIE
Lt. Colonel, AGC, UHA
Adjutant General

DISTRIBUTION:
Division personnel
Pigpoglives
1-As requested

APPENDIX:
    MEMORIAL Stand Down.  Division flags are flying at half mast for the recently departed Public Affairs Officer, Lt. Colonel. Butch, UHA.
Colonel Butch passed over the Rainbow Bridge at 0300, February 7, 35100055.

ATTACHMENTS:
The Commander answers list questions (some are repeats of the questions from October, some are new):
Q1:  Why can’t humans be officers in the 2dHHMD(Mech)?
A1:  That’s just the way it is.  Humans have been around for just a short while (compared to us) and in that time have not shown themselves to be very kind, courteous, nor environmentally friendly.  Why do you think you call yourselves “slaves?”  Even though Standing Bear may have been an officer in a human army, he cannot qualify as an officer in a hedgehog army (or Marine Corps).  Since he does his job well, though, we’ll appoint him as division command sergeant major.
Q2:  We noticed that you changed Critical Bill’s rank from 1st lieutenant to Chief Warrant Officer.  What is that all about?
A2:  Critical Bill has been moaning and groaning about being an officer since he has joined the command.  He was always saying “I don’t WANT to be an officer, I WORK for a living,” and such things.  Well, hedgehogs in a hedgehog army are all officers, humans are the enlisted personnel.  But, in order to shut Critical Bill up we revoked his commission and made him a warrant officer and convinced him that warrant officers are sort of “working officers.”  Now he wants to go fly helicopters.  Now that’s scary (since he can’t even find Canada half the time).
Q3:  How do you feel about having female pogs in key command positions?
A3:  They fight as good as anyone.  Both combat brigade commanders and the deputy CG/division artillery commander are women.  Don’t mess with ‘em.  Hell, I don’t even mess with ‘em.
Q4:  You have a relatively junior officer (Major Bozeman) as your ACofS (G2)(Intelligence).  Isn’t he eligible to be promoted to Lt. Colonel?
A4:  This question keeps coming up.  I don’t know about eligible, but that little fool is never going to be promoted on my watch!  Grudgingly admitted, he is good at what he does, which is sneaking around and duping individuals and groups.  Also granted, that is what “military intelligence”  is supposed to do. But I do not like any of it and just want to get out there and fight an honest battle.  Look for Major Bozeman’s promotion to come in about five light years from now.
Q5:  Are there any final words you would like to impart to the list?
A5:  Yes. once again I sure do miss my friend and colleague General Jackson!  His passing was a great loss to the hedgehog military.  Since then, his command has been relegated to inactive reserve status.  I think they need a reactivation!  No military organization operates without the possibility of replaceability! Perhaps that great general Pogert E. Lee shall reactivate that army!  I hope so.
End of interview.
SPIKERS
Major General, UHMC
Commanding, 2dHHMD(Mech)

 

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